Doggerel/Segments featured in intro[edit | edit source]
"And now, for the very first time, 1000 Ways to Die presents a new award show...The Deathies."
Segments[edit | edit source]
- Mine Over Splatter
- Little Person, Big Death
- Mudder Sucked
- Butt F***ed
- Odds Are You're Dead
- Rub-A-Dubbed Out
- Jersey Gore
- Jaw Boned
- Deadliest Munch
- Gooed Riddance
- Booty Trapped
- Shanks for the Memories
- Re-Tired (412)
- Two Stoopid
- Work Of Fart
- Glow Job
- D. U. Die
- Window Pained
- Tapped Out
- The Chokes On You
- Tanks For Nothing
- Me So Hornet
- Hertz So Good
- Belly'd Up
- Greased Is The Word
- Squirreled Away
- Turtle Waxed
- Anger Damagement
- Ruffed Up
- Tube Snaked
- S**t Canned
- Clay Achin'
- Bad Assid
- Onesie & Donesie
- Bad Hair Day
- Habeas Corpse
- Snake Du Jour
- Smoke A Doped
- Dead Heat
- Succu Offed
- Hang Dunked
- Wet Dream
- Blades of Gory
- Hats All Folks!
- Lawn of the Dead
- Nine Inch Nailed
The Deathies[edit | edit source]
"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 55.
Originally aired October 24, 2011.
Sexiest Death[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Blood Bath & Beyond
"About a pervert who gives his head a bath."
- Runner-Up B: Gum's The Word
"A gigolo sucks face with a horny granny...and tries to kill the taste with a toxic chemical."
- Winner: Washed And Fried
"A shocking story about exotic dancers losing their cheerleading!"
Historical Death[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Vike-O-Done
"A thousand years before Penicillin was invented,an invincible Viking was defeated by a blood infection"
- Runner-Up B: My Big Fat Greek Death
"A Greek peasent becomes his device's first victim."
- Winner: Back Stabbed
"A Viking tale of brotherly revenge!"'
Death During Sex[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Gasketballed
"A story of two lovers who climbed inside a huge basketball...and never got out."
- Runner-Up B: Orspasm
"About a woman whose orgasm the slightest touch...a condition which her boyfriend thoght was funny...until he died."
- Winner: Ass Phyxiated
"About a pluper hupper who dies a happy man."
Cosmic Karma[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Dead Meat-Eorite
"A clueless doofus getss drilled by a piece of cosmic."
- Runner-Up B: Road Killed
"A back-to-nature hippy chick, gets mouth-to-mouth with a dead racoon... until she beomes roadkill "
- Winner: Steward-death
Worst Pervert[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Crib Your Enthusiasm
"A man dresses up like a baby...and breaks his neck after a temper tantrum."
- Runner-Up B: Mercury in Uranus
"A sicko with a fetish meets his match with a fistful of thermometers."
- Winner: Vom-Ate-Dead
"A cutie has a thing for hunks...who blew chunks!"
Sports Death[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Samurai Death Squad
"A group of Japanese American stage jousting matches...in a suit of armor, with cars."
- Runner-Up B: Pam Caked!
"A snorky cheerleader takes on a whole football team."
- Winner: Dead Eye
"A meathead gym teacher who ends up getting...the shaft."
Dumbest Druggie[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Curl Up And Die
"A 70's sweet new hair stylist pops one too many needs and curls up and dies."
- Runner-Up B: Fecal Attraction
"A rock and roller runs out of drugs and suffers a brown-out and gets his own gas."'
- Winner: Em-Bear-Assed
Dumbest Death[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Bitch Zapped
"A horribly head-packed husband watches his wife get mowed down."
- Runner-Up B: Midnight Choker
"A bonehead biker drops a cue ball down the wrong hole."
- Winner: Boys 2 Dead
"A boy band lead singer is heading for a fall!"
Most Painful Death[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Easy Slider
"A pool hopper gets nailed on a late shift slide. Ouch."
- Runner-Up B: Bot-ily Harm
"A deadly blade spinning robot turns on his master."
- Winner: Bad Max
"A Cautionary tale of an out-of-control celebrity."
Deathiest Death[edit | edit source]
- Runner-Up A: Fat-ality
"It serves us a valuable lesson to us all. Self-liposuction... really is a bad idea."
- Runner-Up B: Chippin Dale
"A tree trimmer realizes a little too late,a wood chipper doesn't just chip wood."
- Winner: Titty Titty Bang Bang
"A woman who gets a bad boob job, and they blow up... in her face.
Visit the 1000 Ways to Die website at: www.spike.com/shows/1000-ways-to-die.