Doggerel/Segments featured in intro[edit | edit source]

"And now, for the very first time, 1000 Ways to Die presents a new award show...The Deathies."

Segments[edit | edit source]

The Deathies[edit | edit source]

"1000 Ways to Die" Episode 55.

Originally aired October 24, 2011.

Sexiest Death[edit | edit source]

"About a pervert who gives his head a bath."

"A gigolo sucks face with a horny granny...and tries to kill the taste with a toxic chemical."

"A shocking story about exotic dancers losing their cheerleading!"

Historical Death[edit | edit source]

"A thousand years before Penicillin was invented,an invincible Viking was defeated by a blood infection"

"A Greek peasent becomes his device's first victim."

"A Viking tale of brotherly revenge!"'

Death During Sex[edit | edit source]

"A story of two lovers who climbed inside a huge basketball...and never got out."

"About a woman whose orgasm the slightest touch...a condition which her boyfriend thoght was funny...until he died."

"About a pluper hupper who dies a happy man."

Cosmic Karma[edit | edit source]

"A clueless doofus getss drilled by a piece of cosmic."

"A back-to-nature hippy chick, gets mouth-to-mouth with a dead racoon... until she beomes roadkill "

(No Doggerel)

Worst Pervert[edit | edit source]

"A man dresses up like a baby...and breaks his neck after a temper tantrum."

"A sicko with a fetish meets his match with a fistful of thermometers."

"A cutie has a thing for hunks...who blew chunks!"

Sports Death[edit | edit source]

"A group of Japanese American stage jousting a suit of armor, with cars."

"A snorky cheerleader takes on a whole football team."

"A meathead gym teacher who ends up getting...the shaft."

Dumbest Druggie[edit | edit source]

"A 70's sweet new hair stylist pops one too many needs and curls up and dies."

"A rock and roller runs out of drugs and suffers a brown-out and gets his own gas."'

(No Doggerel)

Dumbest Death[edit | edit source]

"A horribly head-packed husband watches his wife get mowed down."

"A bonehead biker drops a cue ball down the wrong hole."

"A boy band lead singer is heading for a fall!"

Most Painful Death[edit | edit source]

"A pool hopper gets nailed on a late shift slide. Ouch."

"A deadly blade spinning robot turns on his master."

"A Cautionary tale of an out-of-control celebrity."

Deathiest Death[edit | edit source]

"It serves us a valuable lesson to us all. Self-liposuction... really is a bad idea."

"A tree trimmer realizes a little too late,a wood chipper doesn't just chip wood."

"A woman who gets a bad boob job, and they blow up... in her face.

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